I haven't been writing for a while. Twenty two days, to be exact. Maybe there have been a lot going on in life, but I can't recall, really. It's the same old routine day after day, week after week, that I'm lost in it. And time flies by. The speed of it, it scares me. Another day gone by before I can say 'tomorrow'. The fear wears me down, a little. Yes, time is running out, and that is to assume that I am still to live for years to come. It's not like I'm going to die soon though, which is again, an assumption, because it's not up to me to decide when I am going to die. So in a way, to say that time is running out is to build on the assumption that the time frame in between now and my goal is within my alloted life span. The word 'alloted' might sound a bit passive, or destined, but it is in no way suggestive of me forgoing my authority over my life to any other, whatever. The fact is that other than those within my circle of influence, there are a lot else out of my control. This post started off weird anyway. Maybe it's the stress that's been lurking under the radar, or maybe it's PMS camouflages as the nonexistent stress. And by my definition, PMS stands for Perimenstrual Syndrome, instead of Premenstrual Syndrome, where the syndrome lasts from before the period till after, instead of just before the period, as suggested by the latter.
It was actually a mixture of random feelings that urged me to write. These aren't feelings that are describable by single adjectives. It is the 'feeling' of sketching down the view of the chef busying under the warm yellow light from the window; it is the 'feeling' of going back to Bintulu for the starry skies when all I see here are light-polluted grayish blue patches devoid of twinkles; it is the 'feeling' one gets when one's been listening to the same three albums non stop, repeatedly, for the whole day: The Script and Science & Faith by The Script, and the OST for I Am Number Four; and the 'feeling' that lingers from watching the movie Hachiko A Dog's Story few days back.
Anyway, I'm now listening to the OST while reading the book , I Am Number Four by Pittacus Lore. Guess I'm always the 'young adult'. And some really nice songs in that album. Really nice.
Shall there be no shadow, can you appreciate the beauty of light?
